Say Hello To Shepherd James

Shepherd was born at 5:00pm Wednesday 7th May 2009.
He weighed 7lbs 13oz and was 20″ long.

We will be dividing up the blog into two concurrent stories, Michael’s and Melanie’s. We were both seeing the events unroll from two drastically different points of view and you would not have a full perspective if you just heard one side.

I know you all want to hear about the events… but first to what you want more. Pictures! You can also view pictures taken by the hospital photographer (the password is “lawson”).

My mother would say that “I did not want to come into the world”. I was content to stay in the womb. Well, so was Shepherd. That is why, during the checkup several weeks ago, we scheduled an induction date, just in case. Well, as expected, Shepherd did not want to come into the world either. Tuesday evening we headed to Columbia to check into the hospital for our 8:00pm appointment.

We swung by Steak and Shake and Melanie purchased a grilled chicken salad for dinner. Problem was that nobody told her that she was not able to eat from the time we checked in until after birth (I had even called the office that afternoon and asked and was told I could eat anything I wanted up until midnight). So, we had to put her dinner into the fridge. Luckily she was not really hungry. After what seemed like a half hour of Q&A, she was given Cervidil to start the process of softening the cervix. They hooked up fetal and contraction monitors and checked in on mom and baby every so often. We got settled in and bedded down for the night.

The next morning at 7:00 they took out the Cervidil and Melanie was able to get out of bed one last time without monitors hooked to her belly. She took a quick shower and they began Pitocin to induce labor. At that point she was only 1cm dilated. I had been having a few contractions over night, but they were spaced pretty far apart and I was able to get some sleep. They kept coming in from time to time to check on mom, baby and dilation status. Things were progressing slowly, but without incident. After a couple hours of increasing contractions, at 10:15ish, Melanie went ahead and requested the Epidural. Being that this was an induction, I had thought that I might not experience what it really feels like to have contractions, so I wouldn’t recognize them if I ever should be expecting again. I had a pretty good idea after almost 3 hours on Pitocin - curiosity satisfied. And I must say, I love epidurals! My anesthesiologist was quick and I didn’t feel much more than a few tiny pin pricks when he gave me lidocaine to numb before putting in the epidural catheter. If you ever go to Boone Hospital ask for Dr. Zaner. He’s really, really good. After connecting her to that, she dozed off and on throughout the morning and afternoon. Come 3:00 she was still only at 4.5-5cm. They had been telling us that we could expect about 1cm/hour. So from this point we would hope to start the birthing process around 8:00.

Around 4:15 the nurse came in to check on Melanie’s status (she had been sleeping for some time). To everyone’s surprise, she was already at 10cm and you could see the top of Shepherd’s head. I had felt quite a bit of pressure as I was laying there and thought Shepherd must be doing his job to push down and widen the cervix. I just didn’t realize how well he had been doing his job. He was really good to me in that aspect. They quickly paged the doctor, who was away from the hospital and had to rush back. Around 4:40 the doctor showed up and they started the delivery process. After only about 15 minutes of actual pushing Shepherd came into the world at 5:00pm. I must say, it felt like so much more than 15 minutes at the time. The pressure was very much tangible in spite of the pain control and I wanted Shepherd out! I have so much awe and appreciation for my friends who have had to put a lot more effort into bringing their babies into the world.

While all the hectic birthing process is going on the details can start to blur together. Luckily it was so short that I was not overwhelmed with hours of activity that would be hard to sort out later. Here are some of the thoughts I had during the process.

• I am not sure if anyone noticed and I cannot recall when it happened, but at some point during the birth I was overcome with emotion and had tears in my eyes. I am not sure what led to the tears but am grateful that I was able to disconnect from the events and have the Spirit touch me. I was reassured that this was a child of God, given to Melanie and I for safe keeping. I’m not sure at what point Michael was feeling this, but after Shepherd was out and the nurses were tending to him for a moment, Michael leaned over and whispered “I love you” into my ear. I hadn’t expected that reaction from him. I was very touched by that.
• When I went through the birthing class and saw a father cut the cord I was like “why would anyone want to do that?!?!” But when I was there and it was all happening around me I was like “sure!” It sort of became important to me to be able to do it. I was also expecting it to be difficult to cut since people kept saying that it would surprise me how tough it is, but I found it really easy to cut.
• I was unsure of exactly where I would be positioned during the birth. I always had it pictured that I would be up by Melanie’s head, holding her hand and giving her encouragement. However, I found that I was able to stand closer to her mid section and able to watch the process and still support her during the process (although she needed very little due to the quick delivery). Seeing the top of Shepherd’s head and watching more and more appear with each series of pushes… it takes your breath away and brings tears to my eyes even now. I was offered a mirror to watch the process as well, but I was not at all interested. I didn’t want to see how far I was being stretched out and any tearing that might occur. I just wanted to do the job and get through it as quickly as I could.
  
• I found myself wanting to tell Melanie to push harder! Faster! I kept wanting him to hurry up and come out so I could see him. I wasn’t as concerned about seeing Shepherd at that point, I just wanted that pressure to be relieved.
  
• For the first 95% of the delivery process I could only see the top of the head. I did not give it much thought, but I was under the impression that it reflected the size of his head. I kept expecting this little head to pop out. At one point after a comment the doctor said that it was only the skin. This did not sink in until after Shepherd literally popped out. I wish I had a picture of my face. I was like WOW! His head was much larger than my impression. Not spending time around newborns I had no real basis for comparison or I might have realized that my expectation was way off the mark. At that point I had a greater appreciation for the pushing process! I had no idea what it would take to get Shepherd’s body out after the head emerged. I had no idea which push was going to achieve that. Fortunately, once the head was out, the body just came with it without its own push. I was sooooo relieved that it only took seven three-breath pushes.

After Shepherd was born they made sure he could breath, I cut the cord and then Melanie got to hold him for the first time. He was still all “messy” but still beautiful. Now it was my turn to do the work. I grabbed my camera, trying to stay out of everyone’s way, still take in what was going on and still get some pictures a the same time.

I have to wonder if all first time parents have the same feeling…. you anticipate the birth for nine months, you see the ultrasound pictures, you watch the birth, participate in the birth and yet somehow the baby does not really seem like yours. It is like a tiny little actor that just stepped into a play that was unfolding. That feeling is slowly changing, but it will take more time for it to really seam real.

Not a whole lot to say about he next 36 hours. We tried our best to get/catch up on sleep while still taking care of Shepherd, who stayed in our room 98% of the time. I had the honor of changing the first diaper. And the third and the fourth and ….. I start losing count after that! The sleep I lost the first night was well worth it. I wanted to let Melanie get some sleep so I rolled Shepherd over next to my bed and raised the bed up the the same height. I laid my arm across and let my hand rest on Shepherd’s legs. This would calm him immediately if he got fussy. Any sleep I lost that night was well worth the time we got to spend together. I will always look back on that time with Shepherd as one of the pinnacles of my life. I was so grateful for Michael taking over for those hours throughout that first night and early morning. He was just amazing. I always knew he would be a great father, I just didn’t see him stepping into the role so quickly and willingly.

I was struck by how little he cried. Other than right out of the womb, he did not cry until after 24 hours, even when he got shots. That probably changed when he was circumcised late Thursday morning. Shepherd has been amazingly contented. So much so, that we have at times had difficulty getting him stirred up enough to make a fuss and get fully awake for feeding. He is so peaceful and easy going - unless he’s really hungry. Even when he does fuss, he has a relatively mild cry. He’s just been easy on us in so many ways.

We all three hung out together, being checked up on regularly by a good staff of nice nurses. Melanie adjusted to her post birth recovery and we anxiously waited until this morning at 11:00 when we got to check out and bring Shepherd back to the apartment. I would say bring him “home”, but home will be where we go in another week.

I thank God for the birth of our son. We were blessed with a great delivery, no complications, a healthy baby and a well/recovering mother. What more could one ask for? (I hate to complain because my birth experience was about as good as it gets, but pain-free stitches and instant reduction of inflammation would be at the top of my list.) I will agree that it has been a wonderful experience (in hind sight especially) and that we have a very special, serene little spirit in our home for which I, too, am most grateful.